


Forever Unstoppable

by Sugaandspice



Series: Reasons to Stay Alive [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, College, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Hinata is 21 and Kageyama is 20, Hinata is an angel, Hurts So Good, I LOVE THIS SO MUCH HONESTLY, Illnesses, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, KageHina - Freeform, Kageyama Tobio has a lot of feelings, Kageyama Tobio is a Dork, Kageyama rants, Love, M/M, MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE REAL ILLNESSES, Mental Health Issues, Passionate Kageyama, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, SO MUCH FLUFF, Their Love Is So, True Love, Volleyball, college volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 21:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10975578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugaandspice/pseuds/Sugaandspice
Summary: "You can take my heart, if yours won't beatWe're forever unstoppableIf you're torn apart, I'll make you seeWe're forever unstoppable."





	Forever Unstoppable

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to Reasons to Stay Alive!  
> If you haven't read that then you can go back and read it or just read this because it can pretty much stand alone.
> 
> I'm really proud of it. I don't think I've been this proud/happy with something I've written in a long time so I hope you like it as much as I do.

            Kageyama woke up to Hinata staring at him.

            “What?”

            “Nothing, just admiring your beauty.”

            Kageyama blushed.

            “S-shut up.”

            Hinata laughed, bringing a hand up and touching Kageyama's cheek gently. He cupped his jaw slightly and smiled.

            “You’re so cute.”

            Kageyama's blush darkened and he let out a small whine. Hinata giggled again and moved his hand up, running it though Kageyama's hair. He pushed his hair back and pressed a small kiss to his forehead.

            “I love you.”

            “Yeah, yeah.”

            “Don’t be rude, Bakageyama.”

            “Shut up, dumbass.”

            Hinata laughed and sat up, the sheet falling off and revealing his bare chest. He blushed, immediately grabbing the blanket to cover himself again.

            “What are you blushing for? It’s nothing that I haven’t seen before.”

            Kageyama pulled the away again. He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Hinata's bare hip. Hinata laid back down and rolled onto his side, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Kageyama's lips. He ran his hand through Kageyama's hair gently, pulling away a minute later and making Kageyama pout.

            “Yeah, yeah. I know.” Hinata mumbled. “I want to continue too, but we have class and work and can’t afford to make out.”

            “I mean, we can. We can always afford to make out.”

            “No, Tobio.”

            Kageyama pouted and Hinata shoved him gently.

            “Don’t look at me like that. I’ll cave”

            “That’s the point.”

            “Jerk.”

            “You love me.”

            Hinata hummed softly.

            “Unfortunately.”

            “Ouch. Rude.”

            “I have to be rude or you won’t get up.”

            “Not true.”

            “Yes it is. You’re still not up.”

            “Exactly. You were rude and I’m still here.”

            Hinata groaned.

            “Fuck you.”

            “I already did that last night.”

            Hinata shrieked and shoved Kageyama again, making him laugh and fall onto his back dramatically. He grabbed onto Hinata, pulling him closer and pressing a few kisses to his face in rapid succession. Hinata laughed, soon pulling away to look at his boyfriend.

            “You seem happier.” He said.

            Kageyama nodded.

            “I am.”

            “So the new medication is working?”

            “Yes, I think so.”

            “That’s good.”

            Kageyama nodded again and kissed Hinata's head. The bright haired boy gave in, laying his head on Kageyama's chest. He sighed softly and started to trace small shapes on Kageyama's chest.

            “I’m so proud of you.” he whispered.

            It had been five years since Kageyama had attempted to kill himself and ended up in the hospital and things were slowly looking up.

            The first year was the worst. After he got out he went back to stay with Hinata again. He tried to fight it at first, but after a two minute conversation with Hinata's mother, he knew he had no choice. He slept on a futon on the floor next to Hinata's bed most of the time, but the nights he felt bad or the nights that it stormed he climbed into bed with Hinata and slept next to him. Having someone close to help made Kageyama feel safer and more protected from all the negative and self-deprecating thoughts in his head.

            He still self-harmed, despite how much Hinata begged him to stop. He’d been doing it for a while and he was addicted. No matter how many times he tried to stop, something bad would happen and he would break down and have to cut or burn himself to feel okay again.

            His parents started sending him money every month again, but they never called to check on him and see how he was. Neither did anyone else in his family. He knew he was the least liked member of his family, but he never really understood how much everyone hated him until then. He was never alone though because as promised, Hinata never left his side.

            Hinata was sure that the second year would be better and to begin with it was, but then things got worse. They were graduating which made Kageyama nervous. He’d never done well in school so he didn’t even know if he would be graduating. On top of that, his parents had never set up a university fund for him and he knew they wouldn’t pay for anything. He didn’t make any money either so he had no idea where or even how he was going to be able to go to university.

            One day he had spent then entire afternoon thinking about it and everything that had been building up broke though the dam he had built to protecting himself. It all came crashing down on him at once and sent him spiraling into another terrible pit of depression and anxiety. He started pulling his hair out, yanking it out strand by strand and then a whole fistful. He was hospitalized for two months.

            Just like before Hinata visited him every single day. Yamaguchi came by three times a week to help Kageyama with his homework so he wouldn’t fall behind again. Ever since Yamaguchi had found out what Kageyama did, Yamaguchi made it his mission to make sure he was doing okay. He asked him every single day how he was and quickly learned how to tell when Kageyama was lying and when he was actually telling the truth. He wasn’t going to let Kageyama feel as hopeless as he did.

            With the help of his mother, and also Yamaguchi, Hinata applied to a few universities for Kageyama. He ended up with two full ride volleyball scholarships and was quickly able to relax and get through the rest of the year without anymore major issues.

            On graduation day, Kageyama worked up the nerve and confessed to Hinata. After almost passing out, Hinata accepted the confession and by the end of the day the two were even more inseparable than they were before.

            The third year marked their first year at university. They were roommates, sharing a small room with nothing but two beds, two desks, a dresser and a closet. To say it was a tough and rocky year was an understatement. There were so many classes and so much work to do. Once volleyball season came around, Kageyama only ended up even more stressed than he was before.

            His anxiety got worse and none of his medication was working anymore. Half of the time he felt like he was hearing voices and he couldn’t be left alone for longer than an hour without breaking down and screaming at himself. The first time it had happened, he had gotten so upset with the voices that he punched the wall and bruised his knuckles.

            When Hinata got home he forced Kageyama to go to the emergency clinic where they told him if he had turned his hand just slightly, he would have shattered it. Hinata was relieved Kageyama was okay and nothing was broken, but a little piece of Kageyama wished he had. He wouldn’t be playing volleyball, but at least he wouldn’t be as stressed as he was.

            Another day he had broken and had found his knife hidden in his bag. He had the knife pressed to his wrist about to cut when Hinata came back from class. He yelled, startling Kageyama and making him drop the knife. He looks up and started to cry and Hinata dropped everything, running over and holding him tightly. He rubbed his back, whispering soothing words to him until he calmed down.

            The next day Hinata helped Kageyama come up with a schedule so he could do his work and still play volleyball without getting stressed out. They made sure he had time for himself and then time set a side two days a week for him to start seeing a psychiatrist again.

            There, he also learned that after a while bodies build up a tolerance to medication and that was why his was no longer working. She gave him a new prescription and Hinata said a small prayer for this one to work longer than the one before.

            The fourth year was their second year at university and it was much better than the first. Kageyama was handling school well he had even joined the art club. His psychiatrist had told him to try channeling his emotions into something better and more productive so he went to the store and bought some paints and started painting. Much to his surprise, he was good at it, so he joined the club to have more time to do it.

            Unfortunately, once volleyball started back the same thing happened and Kageyama spiraled out of control again. Hinata was still there, picking up all the pieced and putting Kageyama back together to help him get back on his feet. He had to get a new prescription for his anxiety, but it slowly started to help and he picked himself up again and got a handle on everything he had to do.

            When their third year of university started they moved out of the dorms and into an apartment. Hinata was working so they could afford to pay for rent and Kageyama was using the checks he got from his parents to pay for their groceries. He had a new prescription for his depression and anxiety both and he was doing much better.

            Their relationship was better and stronger than ever and Kageyama was doing a great job at handling everything. He finally felt like he had a real handle on life and a good grip on everything going on. For the first time in a long time Kageyama was genuinely happy.

            “Do you have an appointment today?” Hinata asked.

            “Yeah, after my first class.”

            “So 9:00?”

            “9:30.”

            “Do you want me to come with you?”

            “No, you have work.”

            “I can call out.”

            “We need the money.”

            “If we’re that desperate my mom will send us a little bit to get us through the month. She’s done it before when stuff has come up. She understands.”

            “I don’t want to make her do that though.”

            “Kageyama, she doesn’t mind.”

            “No. Don’t call out of work.” He said. “Thank you though.”

            “Of course, baby.”

            Kageyama blushed slightly.

            “I still haven’t gotten used to that.”

            “It’s been three years.”

            “Shut up.”

            Hinata laughed.

            “I love you.”

            “I love you.”

            “Good. Now get your cute booty up and get ready for class.”

            “No.”

            “Get up.”

            “Noo.”

            “Tobio.”

            “Nope.”

            “Get up or I’m not having sex with you for a month.”

            Kageyama sat up, stumbling over Hinata to get up and almost tripping over the blankets and falling in the process.

            “I’m up, I’m up.”

            “I knew that would get you up.”

            “Rude.”

            Hinata shrugged and picked up Kageyama’s boxers, throwing them at him. Kageyama caught them and slipped them on before walking over to the closet to get his clothes.

            “We should go out tonight.”

            “We haven’t been on a date in a while.”

            “I know, that’s why we should go out.”

            “Okay. Where were you thinking?”

            “Maybe that Italian place Ren told you about?”

            “Can we afford something fancy?”

            “Yeah, I’ve been saving a bit from the money my parents send me so I could eventually have enough to take you on the date you deserve.”

            “You’re so sweet.”

            “Only to you.”

            Hinata laughed softly.

            “That’s actually kind of true.”

            “Shut up.”

            “I take it back, you’re terrible and I hate you.”

            “Jerk.”

            “Rude.” Hinata scoffed. “I am wonderful.”

            “You wish.”

            “At least I’m cuter than you.”

            “Again,” Kageyama said. “I say you wish.”

            “Kageyama Tobio!” Hinata cried. “You just said I wasn’t cute!”

            “I did not!” Kageyama argued. “I just said you weren’t cuter than I am.”

            “Rude, I’m going to cry.”

            “Oh well.”

            “Kageyama!”

            Kageyama laughed and walked over, pressing a kiss to Hinata's head. He took a small breath in, smiling to himself.

            “I’m just kidding. I love you.”

            “Yeah, you better.”

            “I do.”

            “I know,” Hinata smiled. “I love you too.”

            Kageyama smiled and kissed Hinata's head again before walking into their bathroom. He turned on the shower then looked out into the bedroom.

            “Are you joining me?”

            “Nope. You’re on your own.” Hinata said. “And I swear if I hear moaning I’m turning on both sinks to make your water cold.”

            “I don’t—”

            “I know what I heard!”

            Kageyama rolled his eyes and walked back into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him and getting in the shower. He didn’t know what it was, but something in his heart told him that today was going to be a good day.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            “Can you sing me a song?”

            It was 3:00 and Kageyama and Hinata were back home lying in bed together. Kageyama had his arms around Hinata, his cheek pressed slightly to his boyfriend’s head as it laid on his shoulder.

            “Why?”

            “Because sometimes when I was sad you would sing me a song and you haven’t done it in a while. You’re a nice singer.”

            Hinata hummed softly.

            “Okay, but only because you’re cute.”

            Kageyama laughed softly, kissing Hinata's head gently.

            “Made a wrong turn, once or twice. Dug my way out, blood and fire. Bad decisions, that's alright. Welcome to my silly life. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood; miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down. Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated; look, I'm still around.” Hinata started to sing. “Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel like you are less than, less than fuckin' perfect. Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing. You're fuckin' perfect to me.”

            Hinata looked up at Kageyama and leaned in, pressing a small kiss to his jaw before singing the next verse.

            “You're so mean when you talk about yourself, you were wrong. Change the voices in your head make them like you instead. So complicated, look happy, you'll make it. Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game. It's enough, I've done all I can think of chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same. Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel like you are less than, less than fuckin' perfect. Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing. You're fuckin' perfect to me.”

            “I’m not perfect.”

            “Did you not listen to the song?”

            “Yes.”

            “Then you should know you’re perfect to me. The only opinions about you that matter are what you think of yourself and what I think of you.” Hinata said. “And the only reason my opinion matters is because we’re dating. Usually that wouldn’t matter, but it kinda does. Don’t ask why, it just does.”

            Kageyama laughed softly.

            “You’re weird.”

            “Yeah, well you’re the one who loves me so you’re just as weird.”

            “I’ll be weird if it means I get to love you.”

            “Wow that was cheesy.”

            Kageyama laughed and squeezed Hinata gently.

            “Sing me another song.”

            “What do I get out of this?”

            “Dinner.”

            “Good enough for me.”

            Hinata thought about it for a minute, trying to figure out a good song to sing. He traced small shapes on Kageyama’s chest with his finger.

            “Okay, I’ve got one.”

            “Then let’s hear it, babe.”

            “Falling stars don't crash through your window. If you want it, go get it, it's meant to be chased. All your scars won't heal till you let go. You're perfectly worth it, forget your mistakes. If you wanna fly, leave this world with me, we'll touch the sky, let's defy this gravity. Hold on to me tight, when it all falls down.” Hinata sang. “You can take my heart, if yours won't beat, we're forever unstoppable. If you're torn apart, I'll make you see, we're forever unstoppable. When you're broken, and you're shattered, love will save you from disaster. You can take my heart, if yours won't beat, we're forever, forever, forever unstoppable.”

            Kageyama smiled slightly. Hinata really wasn’t too far off. Through everything bad that had been going on Hinata had been there. He was there through everything. He was there to celebrate with Kageyama with all of his successes and he was there to help Kageyama pick himself back up each and every time that he fell.

            No one had ever shown him so much love and compassion and pure selflessness than Hinata. Even five years ago whenever he yelled at him and told him he didn’t matter, Hinata was still in the hospital every single day. Hinata stayed by his side through everything and Kageyama was sure he couldn’t love anymore more than he loved Hinata. He fell a little more in love with him every single day and there was no one else he would rather be around. There was no one else he could imagine spending his life with.

            “Yeah we've both been touched by the same flame. Don't worry, I've got you, I won't let you burn. You and I got played by the same game. If you wanna fly, leave this world with me, we'll touch the sky, let's defy this gravity. Hold on to me tight, when it all falls down. You can take my heart, if yours won't beat, we're forever unstoppable. If you're torn apart, I'll make you see, we're forever unstoppable. When you're broken, and you're shattered, love will save you from disaster. You can take my heart, if yours won't beat, we're forever, forever, forever unstoppable.”

            Hinata finished the song and Kageyama pushed him over onto his back, leaning down and kissing him passionately. Hinata smiled against his lips, slowly raising his arms and wrapping them around Kageyama's neck. Hinata held him there, kissing him for a little bit before allowing Kageyama to pull away. Kageyama stared down at him, Hinata's breath hitching at how bright and blue Kageyama's looked. They were so soft and full of love and Hinata swore he felt his heart stop for a moment.

            “I love you,” he whispered. “So much.”

            Hinata smiled.

            “I love you too.”

            Kageyama stared at him for a little longer then leaned down, burying his face in Hinata's chest as he started to cry. Hinata just rubbed his back gently, knowing it was better not to ask him what was wrong right away.

            Sometimes he could ask and Kageyama could tell him and they could talk through it and move on quickly. There were other times though that Hinata would try to ask and it would only upset Kageyama more. He was doing better, but he was still Kageyama and he wasn’t the best at dealing with feelings and emotions. Sometimes he got overwhelmed and he’d burst into tears. At times like this Hinata knew all he could do was hold onto Kageyama and wait for him to calm down.

            As much as it hurt him to see Kageyama hurt, he knew that was something he couldn’t change. As horrid as mental illness is, Kageyama still had to live with it and all Hinata could do was be there and give him a shoulder to lean on. If he had the choice, he would take it from him in and instant. He would do everything and anything to make Kageyama happy. There was nothing he wanted more than to see Kageyama smile.

            It was hard, and sometimes he would have to sneak away to cry to his mother or times he would spend hours in the shower just so he could cry and get his emotions out. It was hard, but nothing worth having comes easy. He loved Kageyama to bits and if making Kageyama happy also meant having to cry in the shower at three in the morning once a month then he would take it. He would cry at three in the morning every single day if Kageyama got to be happy.

            “Kageyama.” Hinata whispered.

            He sniffed and looked up.

            “Y-yeah?”

            “Are you alright?”

            Kageyama nodded. He rolled off him and rubbed his eyes.

            “Dr. Tojo says that may happen.”

            “Randomly crying?”

            Kageyama sniffed and nodded.

            “You know how it happens when I’m really overwhelmed?” Kageyama asked. “She says it’s because extreme emotions mess with your hormones and stuff, but that’s also what mental illnesses do so the medication tries to fix it but sometimes it causes even more extreme emotions and crying is the only way my mind seems to be able to get them out.”

            “That’s…”

            “Weird?”

            “I was going to say interesting, but yeah, it is kinda weird.”

            “Brains are funny.”

            He laid back down next to Hinata and sighed.

            “It’s really fucking hard.”

            “What is?”

            “Always being sick.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Well it’s a fucking mental illness which basically means my brain is sick. The thing is, nobody believes you’re actually sick. They think that because they can’t see the blood coming out of your nose or the gash on your leg or because you’re not sneezing and coughing that you’re just making it all up. I’m not making it up, you just can’t see it because it’s in my fucking head. It’s hormonal and chemical, not physical.” Kageyama said. “People don’t understand that mental illness can be just as bad a physical illness. People don’t understand it at all. Just going outside and exercising isn’t going to help me get better. I fucking hate too when people say “just be happy” or “just get over it” you wouldn’t fucking tell someone with cancer to “just get better” so why are you telling someone with anxiety to “just get over it?”

            He took a breath and kept talking.

            “If someone broke their leg and they couldn’t walk you wouldn’t tell them to “go exercise” so why are you telling someone with manic depressive disorder to do that? You wouldn’t tell someone who’s has three weeks to live to “just be happy” so why are you going to tell someone with depression that? Mental illnesses are real illnesses but there’s so much stigma and people won’t take them seriously until someone tries to kill themselves and then if they fail they only get yelled at! People don’t fucking understand what it’s like to be sick all the time and have nobody believe you or have people think that you’re making it up. So many people say if you’re feeling depressed or suicidal then to reach out for help, but why would anyone want to reach out for help when they know they aren’t going to be listened to.”

            Kageyama sat up and shifted to look at Hinata.

            “This one girl at group therapy tried to go to her dad to get help and he told her she was making it up, that it was all in her head. That’s what’s scary! It is in out head. Nobody can see it and they think we’re fucking crazy. Why won’t people take it seriously? You can’t see cancer, but if someone says “hey I think I have cancer” then they go to the fucking doctor and get taken care of. If someone says “hey I think I have depression” then they’re told to just get over it or to be happy or go outside or some other bullshit like that.” He sighed. “It’s so hard to be sick all the time and have nobody believe you. It’s hard enough to be sick and to deal with it every day, but then having nobody believe you just makes it worse.”

            Hinata was quiet for a while. He wanted to make sure Kageyama was finished, but he also didn’t know what to say back.

            “I believe you…” he said softly.

            “I know and I’m so grateful for that. I’m grateful for you.” he said. “But I don’t think my parents believed it.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “And it’s even worse for some people because they could need the most help, but they know they can’t tell anyone so they put on a fake smile and laugh at stuff and then when the do finally tell someone the person is like “you can’t be depressed, you look happy” which is also bullshit cause that’s like telling you or Nishinoya-san “you can’t play volleyball, you’re too short” it’s all so fucking stupid.” Kageyama said.

            “AND! What I hate the most is when someone says that you can’t be sad or depressed or tells you to stop complaining because other people have it worse. I know other people have it worse, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have what I have. Plus! While other people have it worse than I do, I also have it worse than some other people so like are you gonna tell me they can’t be sad because I have it worse than them? That’s just bullshit.”

            Kageyama sighed.

            “If people say I can’t be sad because other people have it worse then why don’t they say that other people can’t be happy because other people have it better? That sounds just as fucking stupid as the first one. We have what we have, both good and bad. You’re allowed to be happy and you’re allowed to be sad. You have just as much of a right to be sad as I do; not having two parents doesn’t mean you have it worse than I do and me not even having my parents around doesn’t mean I have it worse than you do. It just means we have had different experiences. We are both allowed to be sad and I hate so much when people tell me I can’t me.”

            Hinata reached out and took Kageyama’s hand.

            “I agree.” He said, squeezing it gently. “You’d make a good motivation speaker.”

            “Really?”

            “Well maybe not a motivation speaker, but you would make a really great mental health advocate. So many people who are advocates don’t even fully understand it themselves, but you’ve been through everything first hand. You should look into it.”

            “I might.”

            Hinata pulled Kageyama's hand closed and pressed a kiss to each of his knuckles. He squeezed it gently, holding it close to his heart.

            “You’re so special.”

            “That’s mean.”

            “Not like that!” Hinata cried. “I meant you’re special to me. You’re one of a kind. You’re special. You’re my special sunflower.”

            “And you’re my special dumbass.”

            Hinata rolled his eyes.

            “Thanks for ruining the moment.”

            “You’re welcome. I’m always happy to help.”

            Hinata laughed, shaking his head fondly.

            “You really do mean a lot to me.”

            “You mean a lot to me too.” Kageyama said. “I literally wouldn’t be here without you. I wouldn’t be in university or on this earth.”

            Hinata smiled, squeezing Kageyama’s hand again.

            “I only did what any good friend would do.”

            “You did so much more than that.”

            “Not really.”

            “Yes you did! Shouyou, you literally gave me reasons to stay alive. You gave me a reason every single day. I yelled at you and you still stayed with me at the hospital. You gave me a place to live and someone to talk to and to lean on. When I was hospitalized again you were there every day. You applied to university for me, you got me a fucking scholarship. You have never left my side.” Kageyama said. “I know dealing with all of that couldn’t have been easy for you either, but you never gave up on it. You never gave up on me and I can never express to you how much that means to me. How much you mean to me.”

            Hinata's cheeks flushed and he looked away.

            “I just… it was nothing.”

            “It was so much more than nothing.” Kageyama said. “It was everything.”

            “You make it seem like I’m a hero or something. I just did what anyone would do. Yamaguchi would have done the same.”

            “Yamaguchi didn’t. You did.” Kageyama said. “You’re my angel.”

            “I’m not angel, I’m just me, but I will love you endlessly.” Hinata sang softly, grinning at Kageyama.

            “Wings aren’t what you need, you need me.” Kageyama echoed.

            He leaned down and pecked Hinata's lips gently.

            “But really. You are my guardian angel. You promised me that you would always be there for me and you were. You have been. You are. You have never left my side.” Kageyama said. “I love you even more for that. You, Hinata Shouyou, are the greatest person that I know and I’m glad I have had the pleasure of loving you.”

            Hinata's blush darkened and he looked back up at Kageyama.

            “But it’s all you…” he said softly. “You’re doing all the work.”

            “I couldn’t have done it without you though.”

            “You could have.”

            “I couldn’t have.” Kageyama said. “I came to you one day and told you I wanted to kill myself. I’m not sure why. I’m not sure if it was a cry for help and I was telling you because I wanted you to help me or if it was because you were my only friend, but regardless of the reason I told you and you begged me not to. You begged me to give you a month and I did. I gave you a month and things got better and then they got worse and I just felt so broken and the only way I thought it could end the pain was to end everything so that’s what I tried to do. All I could think of was you. I didn’t want to hurt you. I tried to make you ask angry as I could so you wouldn’t feel sad when I died.”

            “That didn’t work.”

            “I know.”

            “Sorry.”

            “I’m not though. You can hear sometimes while you’re in a coma. I heard what you said. I heard what others said. Some of it anyways. I knew you cared, but it wasn’t really until you said something in particular that I realized how much you cared.”

            “What did I say?”

            “You said ‘I promise you that you would always have me and I’m not breaking that promise now’ and I can’t remember much else of what was said, but I remember that. Through everything you have never given up on me and I appreciate that so much. I love you so much. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

            “Well like I told you a long time ago, I believe in you. There’s nothing else that I believe in more than I believe in you.”

            “I know and now I believe you.”

            “You’re so special, Kageyama. You’ve dealt with a lot, but you’re so strong. You can get through anything.”

            “I didn’t used to believe that and sometimes even now I have a really tough time believing it. Sometimes I lay away at night trying to figure out how someone as lovely as you can love someone as fucked up as me. Sometimes I don’t understand what on earth would possess you to where you even want to be friends with me. I don’t understand how you think, not even think, but are so certain that I am capable of so many great things. You’re so certain I’m going to be someone amazing and half the time I’m not even sure if I can make it through the day.” Kageyama said.

            “Sometimes though I look at you and I can see that sparkle in your eye when you tell me that stuff or even just normally and you have so much faith in me and I still don’t understand how, but I’m slowly starting to believe you. I’m slowly starting to believe that I am strong and I can do it and I can make it through whatever pit of depression I’m in and I can achieve great things and I don’t even know what it is about you that has made me believe it but I look at you and I feel like there is no way I _can’t_  believe it because for one thing you’re the most honest person I know.”

            Kageyama let you a breath.

            “You’re just so damn special and you’re so special to me and you’re the greatest person I know and I love you so much. You believe in me more than anyone else ever has and that on its own means so much to be, but you just… You’re so fucking important and I just love you so much.”

            Hinata smiled and sat up, pressing his lips to Kageyama’s gently. He let the kiss linger for a few seconds before pulling away and squeezing his hand again.

            “I love you so much too.” Hinata said. “And I’m so proud of you for all you have accomplished and all that you are going to accomplish. You’re going to do great things, Tobio, I have no doubt about it.”

            “And thanks to you, I think I believe it too.”

            Hinata smiled and kissed Kageyama again.

            “You are the greatest thing to every happen to me. I never want to be with someone else. I never want to let you go. You mean the absolute world to me, Shouyou. You are my whole world. I love you. I’m _in_ love with you.”

            “You mean the world to me too, Kageyama.” Hinata smiled. “I love you.”

            “I really couldn’t have done this without you. I wouldn’t have made it.” he said softly.

            “Well, like you told me a long time ago.” Hinata said. “With me you’re invincible.”

            And they always were.

**Author's Note:**

> Insight into this story:
> 
> "I'm no angel, I'm just me, but I can love you endlessly. Wings aren't what you need, you need me." is a line from Endlessly by The Cab.
> 
> Also a part a decided to cut out because I thought it was too much, was Kageyama proposing to Hinata. That's why he saved up for the Italian restaurant.


End file.
